Am I Good At Sex? Understanding Sexual Intelligence

“Am I good at sex?” If you’ve ever asked yourself this, you’re far from alone. It’s a question that comes up often in coaching sessions, and the truth is: there’s no single definition of “good.” Sex is deeply personal, and what feels amazing for one person may not land the same for another.

As a sex coach for women in Brussels, I can tell you that being “good” isn’t about meeting some universal standard. The real secret? It’s about sexual intelligence.

The Secret: Sexual Intelligence Over Performance

Sexual intelligence is more than technique. It’s about blending knowledge, intuition, and emotional awareness into the way you approach intimacy. This means:

  • Being mindful and present in the moment

  • Managing your emotions and nerves while staying open to pleasure

  • Reading your partner’s signals with empathy and curiosity

This is where true confidence and connection grow, not from counting partners or memorising “tricks.”

Why Quantity Doesn’t Equal Quality

Some assume experience alone makes you good at sex. But without awareness, communication, or confidence, even lots of practice won’t necessarily lead to connection.

That’s why my private sex coaching often focuses on quality over quantity, helping you build trust, clarity, and real enjoyment, rather than chasing performance.

Technique Is Only Part of the Picture

Yes, knowing your way around certain moves can help, but technique without connection often falls flat. Great sex happens when you notice your partner’s reactions, adjust, and communicate.

That’s why intimacy coaching services weave practical knowledge together with emotional skills, so you can feel confident both in your body and in your relationships.

Find the Desire, Then Communicate

One of the most important parts of sexual intelligence is being able to identify what you enjoy. Maybe you remembered a moment that felt especially joyful, safe, or exciting. Hold onto it, it’s a clue to what works for you.

From there, it’s about communicating those desires and boundaries clearly. 

So, what does it really mean to be “good at sex”? It’s not about comparison or perfection. It’s about staying curious, being present, and cultivating real intimacy.

As a sex coach for women from 35+, I help clients shift away from self-doubt and performance pressure into confidence, connection, and joy. If you’re ready to explore your desires, build body confidence, or simply feel more at ease in intimacy, my intimacy coaching services are here to support you.

Your sexual confidence doesn’t come from chasing some arbitrary standard, it comes from discovering who you are, and owning it.

Next
Next

Breaking Through the Silence: What People Really Want from Sex